Am I Really Walking Through a Hailstorm of Cat Tee Tee?


Because it sure does feel like it.

At the risk of constantly complaining, this year has been less than stellar for me and my family. I have been in a constant state of heart palpitating stress, stomach upset, and straight up sadness. All because sometimes life wants to hand you a sh*t sandwich. And when you’re starving, you take it.

With everything going on in the world today, I feel extremely self-absorbed writing this. I am not being gassed by chemical weapons; I am not trying to reconstruct my life after a major natural disaster; and I am not laying to rest a loved one who lost their life while serving this country. With yesterday being the heart wrenching commemoration of 9-11, I am pretty thankful for my crap sandwich.

But sometimes the stress is too much in my little bubble.

At what point can I look up to the sky and say, “Okay, that’s enough now. Perhaps today nothing goes wrong. Tomorrow is negotiable”?

Based on recent scientific observations (and by “scientific” I mean sitting in a restaurant and badgering my husband with ideas while eating my third taquito), I have categorized the source of stress into two main groups:

1)      Situational – Sometimes it is merely the nature of the beast that can cause life to go banana sandwich (Think: overflowing toilet destroying your child’s papier-mâché reconstruction of Iwo Jima). It sucks. Usually there are cries of, “Why is life doing this to me? Is it because I did not donate to the Leukemia Society, but I still use their return address stickers?” Depending on the severity of the situation, the amount of help you receive, and if you are a person who cries when you run out of Miracle Whip, can determine the stress level. While devastating at times, situational events allow us to pull up the boot straps and move forward.

2)      People – Some people are straight up buttholes. I think I found that quote in a fortune cookie. Personally, I like most people I meet and I can play well with others.


…. I have discovered this subset of our population who walk around the earth solely to agitate and cause woe for others. I have yet to decipher what payoff these folks receive, and honestly, I don’t have the energy to do so. Some folks like to say difficult people are my cross to bear. I get it, but some of these “crosses” seem to have elephantiasis. So I do my best to “bless and release” these folks…as in releasing them to Antarctica. But don’t wish ill on others, that is just bad ju-ju.

I wish I had some stress relieving tips that I would actually use and would actually work. Meditation seems like some form of Eastern European torture. People tout the benefits of positive mantras, so I’m going to pass along the phrase my father often uses, “Keep Going.”  He’s retired military, has fought in a war, and has generally seen a lot of crap. He’s still standing so I guess it works.

So if you are having a crap day, do like the General (aka, my dad) and put one foot in front of the other – just keep going.

Who knows, maybe there is a ham sandwich waiting for you on the other side of this tee tee torrent.

Am I Really Taking a Nap During my Nap?


Labor Day has just come to pass. The celebration of all those who work in this great country. The government/society gives us this one day off for busting our humps the rest of the year.

The generosity is overwhelming you. I can tell.

Here are some definitions I want to share with you. LABOR: work, esp. hard physical work; to make great effort; have difficulty in doing something despite working hard; move or proceed with trouble or difficulty; till (the ground); and of course, the process of childbirth, esp. the period from the start of uterine contractions to delivery.*

Wow – this sh*t sounds hard. Guess what, a lot of times it can be.

Enter, the lazy train.

For those of you who know me, lazy is not a word used to describe me. Ever. I am the anti-lazy.

Lately, however, I just don’t give a crap. I want to whip my bra off, keep my pjs on, and hang a Gone Fishing sign on my front door. As mentioned in an earlier post, this does not bode well for me since the school year has just started and we have a million activities happening, including going back to work.

I think this yearn-to-a**-sit-and-stare-into-space has something to do with the fact that I have not taken any type of vacation for over a year. No clearing of the mind. Oh we had grand plans to get away, but then we realized we needed new plumbing in the house, so dreams of surf and sand went right down the toilet – literally.

As a society, we pack our days to gills. Who knows why. But we do it. Some days, there are literally not enough hours in the day to get everything done. School, work, sports, activities, traffic, trying the new Dorito Chalupa at Taco Bell. Yet sometimes we really need to do nothing.

Now let me preface, I do not suggest shirking responsibilities, but a little nothing every once in a while is a good thing.

Think of it this way, you use your smart phone all the time. Close your mouth, I know you do. You probably need to plug it in and charge it up at least once a day.

Guess what? You are the same way.

Our society reveres the over-doers, and looks down upon people who take life in the slow lane. Look at how we treat our elderly. We are annoyed by their slow pace and daytime napping rituals.

I actually overheard a conversation recently. It went something like this:

Person #1: “How was your weekend?”

Person #2: “It was great. We did nothing! We actually slept in.”

Person #1: “Must be nice to live the life of Riley. I had to help my daughter with her science project, I went into work, we had three soccer games, two birthday parties, mowed the lawn, and then finished painting the bathroom.”

Person #2: Silence. (Shamefully slinks away).

Okay, this conversation is not verbatim, but pretty close. The point is this – who gives a crap? Let somebody else do nothing. It is their life and maybe they need to take a break. And guess what? Magical unicorns are not going to fly down from the sky and award you with the busiest person award, give you a pat on the back and an Eskimo Pie, and then announce to all the land that you are so wonderfully awesome for doing so much.

What you do get is this – you get to be tired.

If we are constantly doing, how can we take a moment to look around us and really see what is going on? How can we create if we are always running from one activity to the next? And how can we be the best person we can be to our family, friends, and ourselves, if we are always saying “yes” to everything and never recharging our batteries?

So give yourself a break and others around you. Get your stuff done, then sit down and watch some bad TV. Read a book. Go outside. Let yourself think. You need this time.

Then you can go gas up the car because you have to drive forty-eight kids for carpool this week.


*From the online Google search of “definition of labor” and Wikipedia.