Am I Really Having a Fire Sale at my Everything Must Go Garage Sale?

Welcome to the Great Purge of 2015!

While everyone is making their New Year’s resolutions to get fit, quit smoking, and finally use that loom Aunt Betty gave you, I am in the process of cleaning closets and throwing out – everything.

I am not a saver. When I was growing up, my family had to pick up and move every couple of years. We learned the art of “bless and release” early on. That, and my mom would give away half our stuff while we were at school.

At any rate, I do not care to have schmegma build up around me, so I like to have a Crap-Exodus at least twice year. When it is all said and done, I’ll be standing here with a suitcase full of clean socks and a cell phone.

All Crap Must Gooooooo!

All Crap Must Gooooooo!

Here are something things that are not making the cut in 2015:

  • Clothes with holes/Do not fit/From my first job out of college. I have been out of college for twent–er- a while. Yet I still have some exercise wear from the boys section of JC Penny’s (there was a sale!). I figure these items should go before I start the support hose era of my life. 

    It's just a matter of time.

    It’s just a matter of time.

  • Papers, papers and more papers. There are catalogs in our bathroom from two years ago and a multitude of expired coupons to Bucca di Beppo. I’m not sure which grosses me out more. Purge.
  • Kiddie Art. Oh now don’t freak out, of course I save most of my daughter’s school work and art. But all of it? Nope. I don’t think I need to keep that popsicle stick snowman with a broken head. That’s just bad Feng Shui.

    Now my house looks like my head

    Now my house looks like this…in my head

  • Bad Habits. Come on, I had to wiggle in a New Year’s resolution. Seriously, be like the Red Hot Chili Peppers and “Give it away/ Give it away/ Give it away now.” You don’t need to buy everything you see. You don’t need that extra slice of pizza (I know you want it, but then you’ll be too stuffed to stay awake during Guardians of the Galaxy). You don’t need to be 5-10 minutes late everywhere you go. And by “you” I mean “me.”
  • Guilt. Just kidding. That will never happen. I’m Catholic. They’ll kick me out of the club.
  • Old or New Crap you Never Use or Just Don’t Like. If you give me something, I will find a place or use for it. Some might say this is a good thing. Not always. Especially if it is a paper mache bust of a family member. Thanks, but no thanks. Bye bye.

    Bye Bye Bye is right.

    Bye Bye Bye is right.

  • Toys. Holy crap. Where does this stuff come from? So. Many. Toys. I’d like to go back to the 1920s when a child’s toy was a mop. And an IPad. The IPads must stay.


Have at it kiddo.

Have at it kiddo.

     So join me in getting clean in 2015. You’ll feel better and finally be able to find those glow sticks in your junk drawer.

Plus, it’s just good hygiene.


Photos Courtesy of:

EXODUS Movie –

Support Hose –

Feng Shui Living Room –

‘N Sync – Bye Bye

1920s Top –

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