Am I Really Wishing a Brick Will Fall on the Head Of That B*tch’s Success?

It’s Lent, I know. I should not be talking like this. But the Oscars just happened and you can’t tell me all those who did not win are beyond thrilled for their colleagues’ success. Please.

In my own life, it’s like this: you know when you see someone you just can’t stand become successful at …anything? All of sudden people start coming out of the woodwork saying things like, “Congratulations!”, or “I knew you could do it!”, or “You are so great, smart, definitely not annoying, of course you got a promotion/million dollars/Congressional appointment!” It takes all my strength to not vomit all over my broken un-upgraded phone when I read these comments on Facebook.

Conversely, I am actually a very nice person. Ask anyone. However, a few people on this earth really irk the crap out of me – especially those who have wronged me. When said crappy people “make it,” I just can’t bring myself to be the better person and grant well wishes.  Bad girl. I know. I’m working on it. I’m not the only one.

Sometimes, people just can’t stand other people. And let’s face it; things are not going to change any time soon. Life is not like that crappy Kristen Bell movie, You Again.  You know the scene where arch nemeses Jamie Lee Curtis and Sigourney Weaver start throwing bows in the pool, then make up and become BFFs? Nope, never gonna happen in real life. People like to hate on others success. And apparently Kristen Bell movies (sorry Kristen, I really do like you!).

So why, even when we like the other person, do we become jealous? It certainly doesn’t feel good.

I think it has to do with greed.

We are grubby little creatures, wanting everything; even if we don’t need it.

Nothing illustrates this principal more than a two year old. If you give a two year old a toy dinosaur, she will be pretty happy. She’ll chew on it and smack it up against things. Pure bliss. But if the little tike sees you give her fellow toddler a toy camel? Hang onto your hats people because the sh*t is gonna hit the fan. She will go and try to wrench the poor camel out of the other child’s hand. If girlfriend can’t get it – tantrum city.

Why? She was so happy with the dinosaur.

Greed. I want I want I want.

Our great great great great great grandparents are staring down at us shaking their heads thinking, “Greedy Gerts! You know what my toy was growing up? The giant splinter in my hand. That and small pox.”

I bet they were jealous of somebody. Mostly likely that Dapper Dan who lived in town and did not have to do back breaking manual labor. There is always somebody who has what you wish you had.

But do you really want what so and so has? It might look shiny and nice, but is the awesomeness just an illusion?

Usually this grass is greener effect occurs when we are at our lowest.  Maybe we are questioning our own lives or the goals we have been putting off. I wish I had my own frozen yogurt store? Look how successful she is? Really? I don’t think so.

Just like the toddler who never even thought about a toy camel prior to seeing someone else with it, we too are like wee ones wanting what others have.  Perhaps we just need to be happy with what we do have, and strive to achieve the actual things we want in this life.

Easier said than done? Not really.

Isn’t it easier to go after one’s dream of writing a novel rather than stewing in front of your computer screen getting acid indigestion about Slutty Stephanie from High School running a successful Organic Baby Food company? Probably.

I’m going to try it. I plan to focus on my personal goals, and not what some other person has – especially one who I don’t even like. What a colossal waste of time.

So when that green-eyed monster starts creeping up again, ride it out and go do something you want to do.

Then just think of all those empty-handed broads from the Best Actress category.  Yeah, your life’s not so bad.