Am I Really Wearing Shamrocks and a Sombrero on Valentine’s Day?

Ah Valentine’s Day – the day for lovers. A day for romance. A day for hypo-glycemic attacks due to all the ingested chocolates.

No gracias.

I don’t do romance very well (check out last year’s post about it ). Thoughtfulness, yes. Gooey romance, no. I would actually like to go see the opening of A Good Day to Die Hard on this day rather than get a giant teddy bear.  It’s like those smarty candy hearts that say Be Mine or Cutie!  They get stuck in my throat like a wad of chalk. I find the whole running around for a gift too stressful. Can’t we just do nice things for each other without putting a big ass red bow on it?

A recently released book entitled The Norman Bar surveyed over a billion people (or something like that) about relationships. The author and her team of experts discovered that men crave romance more than women.

This I believe.

Not because men are more romantic than women, quite the contrary.  Women would just like everyday sh*t to happen around the house/in their lives because we are TIRED. Let’s face it, chocolates and flowers are nice, but they won’t make up for the moldy boxes of baseball cards hogging up the garage.

If you want to get busy gentlemen, take a looksey at the below list of traditional Valentine’s gifts versus what a chica really wants:


LADY: Wants him to throw away his trash rather than leave it on the couch for her to find in the morning. Then a hug.

H/B/MR. RN: Enjoys spontaneous hand-holding.

LADY: Wants him to “hold” his nail clippings all the way to the trash can.

H/B/MR. RN: Appreciates a kind word and knowing his efforts are appreciated.

LADY: The same. Especially if those words are, “Hey honey, why don’t you go lay down/hang out with your friends/stare at nothing for a while? I’ll take care of the kids/dinner/cleaning up all the dog hair.”

H/B/MR. RN: Excited by sexy underwear.

LADY: Excited his underwear made it into the hamper.

H/B/MR. RN: Wants to make dinner.

LADY: Wants to eat anything she does not have to cook.

Women want the romance just like you dudes. We love love and want to feel loved.  We like flowers and kind words just like any other human being. We just want it with a side of everyday actions.

So boys, when you are picking out those chocolate covered strawberries for your lady-friend, take a moment to think. Maybe the best accoutrement to go with the strawberries is mowing the lawn. Romance can take many forms. I know mine looks a little different.

But if my husband ever forgets to get me flowers on V-day I will beat him…with his box of soggy baseball cards.