Am I Really Asking a Pilgrim, “Why So Serious?”

Angry Male Pilgrim

Ah yes, the holidays are upon us. The first snow has fallen in New York, merchants have wrapped their poles with Christmas lights, holiday music pipes through the speakers of most booksellers, and coffee shops around the globe have busted out their peppermint mochas.

I had better wrap my presents soon before –

Oh wait, Thanksgiving hasn’t even happened yet.

It is not new news that Thanksgiving has become the lost holiday.  Stores go straight from Halloween to Christmas. I am fairly certain that if I went to Michael’s to by a wooden cornucopia, I would have to dig to the bottom of some back bin where all the broken picture frames and torn wreaths go to die.

Why, do you ask, is this day of thanks commercially ignored?

Two words: Grouchy Pilgrims.

Let’s face it folks, it was not a great time in our American history. The weather sucked, the earth was hard and barren, and if the small pox didn’t get you, an Indian raid sure might (no offense Wampanoag people). Not a lot of jumping for joy happening.

Unfortunately, our retailers have done nothing to amend this issue. Take a look at these two wooden Pilgrims my mother in law gave me. They are actually frowning.  Pilgrims 1And they are holding a TON of food. Look at the man, he is rolling his eyes. Maybe they got into a fight.

About six years ago, I bought some Pilgrims to decorate my table for Thanksgiving. Don’t look that lady pilgrim in the eye, she is about to hike up her petticoat and start a rumble. And the man? Did he just see a ghost? He looks surprised to be here. Sadly, I had to remove the Plymouth Rock folk. They were ruining the vibe.

Maybe she has a corn allergy.

Maybe she has a corn allergy.

I don’t understand it. Thanksgiving is a day to be thankful for the food we have, our family, our friends, and for the fact that we were not alive during the 1600s.  Yet, our stores place all the focus on Christmas.

Who can blame them?

Let us briefly compare:

Main Ingredient in Christmas Food: Sugar

Main Ingredient in Thanksgiving Food: Wheat

Music of Christmas Past and Present: The glorious Deck the Halls, and the upbeat Jingle Bells.

Music of Thanksgiving Past and Present: Moaning during childbirth, and moaning on the couch after too much of Aunt Peg’s candied yams.

Christmas Decorations:  Bright red elves, happy snowmen, rich green hollies.

Thanksgiving Decorations: A dead bird.

I don’t care though, I am going all out this Thanksgiving. My entire family will be in town and I have a lot to be thankful for.

So raise your spoonful of mashed potatoes with me, stick your turkey flag out on the lawn, and celebrate the day in all its grandeur.

But stay away from the turducken, it’s pretty gamey.


2 thoughts on “Am I Really Asking a Pilgrim, “Why So Serious?”

  1. Hysterical. We’re looking forward to spending Thanksgiving with the family …can’t remember the last time we did that, maybe never. Should be fun as we moan the day away together!

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